Star Warriors
by Sounds of Snow
Summary: Join the cats of Warriors' as they portray the characters of Star Wars. Rated T for Crude Humor, Violence, and mild Language. In this silly adventure, you relive the original saga that was Star Wars. Sequel; Star Warriors, the Original Trilogy, is out.
1. Star Warriors IV

Star Warriors IV

Hope of Newness New Thingy Things

As a war rages out across the galaxy, cats everywhere are being decimated by the ShadowClan Empire ruled by the Emperor and his evil apprentice, Hawk-Vader. He and his fleet have spread across the galaxy, spreading torture through at hand. Yet one hopeful group of cats who are known as ThunderClan, rebels against the evil forces. There are also RiverClan and WindClan, but no one really cares about them. Anyways, the rebellion is trying to keep away secret plans from the rebellion. Princess Squirrelflight is in possession of these plans as she begins to try and get a Jedi master. Anyways, Empire found her and this completely random series of god freaking crap began to happen to her and a couple other people. Yay!

Part 1: The Ship of Cats?

A ship zoomed across the galaxy as it fired laser like weapons at the bigger ship. Hooray! Anyways, uh, the ship was being chased at monumental speeds. How fast you ask. I don't freaking know! Go ask the pilgrims, they can solve your freaking dilemma. Yah, I'm that cold. Yah, I am.

Well, the other really freaking big ship fired a laser at the smaller ship, then boom. Or something caused a chain reaction, which, oh for the love of... This isn't worth it. Let's just skip to the part where Gray2-D2 and C3Fire0 were rushing down the main hall of the small ship.

"Oh my God!" shouted C3Fire0. "They shot the main reactor!" Gray2-D2 stared in confusion. He then spoke. (Yes, I know in Star Wars, R2-D2 can't speak. But Graystripe can.) "Beep-bop, no one gives a damn." Gray2-D2 ignored C3Fire0 and strolled down a hall. "I'm bored. Bye!" "Don't leave me!" shouted C3Fire0.

The rebels, who for some reason just sat waiting at a door, stared blankly into each others eyes. "Why the heck did sign up for this?" asked one. "Don't know," replied another rebel. "It was something to do." Then the door fired open and cat like storm troopers rushed in.

Blasting with guns that fired no lasers, but cats' teeth began to shoot across the empty landscape. Many were shot down, and then the rebels fled farther into their ship for no apparent reason.

Then out of the shadows, out stepped Hawk-Vader. "Capture all the cats you find!" He mewed. "I want them alive. And if they die, I'll make Erin Hunter kick you out of the series!" The storm trooper cats ran in, in search of rebel cats and whoever else was onboard.

A strange cat lady with brownish striped fur was trying to place something in Gray2-D2. "Okay, how do I do this?" she asked. Gray2-D2 replied, "Place the disc in the front slot." "What the frick is a slot?!" she yelled. "This is what happens when you mix the wild and technology!" She shoved the disc into wherever she could and left.

Just then, C3Fire0 appeared out of no where and ran into Gray2-D2. "Where the heck were you?" Gray2-D2 looked up the orange cat-robot. "Smuggling battleship plans in my parts, now let's get on that." He pointed at an escape pod. C3Fire0 refused. "No. I won't do it!" Then a shot almost hit him. "Let's go." The pod shot out.

On the star destroyer, Kibbles, do we shoot it?" The other cat looked at him. "Nah... Let's go get some kittypet food and stale water from a bowl." Kibbles smiled as he heard that. "Nothing would make me happier." The two cats left their gunning stations ignoring the fact that, that thing was jetting the one thing to the planet that would destroy the station.

"This sucks," moaned C3Fire0 as they fell to the heat scorched planet below.

The mysterious female cat in a cloak that was carrying a gun wandered aimlessly around the ship. Then she took a wrong turn and land smack into some storm trooper cats. "Come with us or die," said one. She sighed and said, "You're a bunch of mouse dung, flee bitten chew toy rags!" "That's great," a trooper said. "You still need to come with us though."

She was directed to Hawk-Vader. "Ah, Princess Squirrelflight, what have you done with my plans?" The princess looked puzzled. "I don't know what you're talking. I just know the disc is on a yellow ball." "The plans are on the planet!" Hawk-Vader yelled! "Send the troops down there! And while you're at it, kill the ones who didn't shoot the pod."

Part 2: Where the Hell are we?

"Where the hell are we?" mumbled C3Fire0 to himself. "Well, it's a big rock with sand as far as I can tell. Hey, where the heck are you going?" Gray2-D2 was strolling away. To busy to care, he had a mission. "Well fine!" C3Fire0 yelled to him. You ungrateful little snipe! Go that way and die! I don't care!" C3Fire0 trudged the other way.

C3Fire0 had been treading for nearly 2 straight hours. He'd found himself next a giant skeleton of something that had probably died from the heat. Well, sort of figures. "I blame Gray2-D2, and Erin Hunter, and George Lucas, and the author of this horrible fan-fiction story!" **(Disclaimer: Any offense brought to Erin Hunter, George Lucas, or me is given great apologies for use of joke.)**

C3Fire0 then caught a glint of metal. "Oh god, I see settlement!" he yelled out with joy. "Hey! Over here, I need assistance. Please! Help me!" Then the glint grew larger until C3Fire0 could clearly see the figure that was approaching him. It sure was a settlement.

On the other side of that baron rock, Gray2-D2 had been traveling to find some strange cat that had been apparently needed for the mission. Gray2-D2 stroke across the ground, but as he did, in the background, he heard noises. He also caught glimpses of shifting rocks. "Hello?" he called. "Anyone trying scare me?"

He continued to stroll as he saw nothing that looked like it would harm him in any sort of way. Yet somehow he was still catching glimpses of eyes and moving rocks. There was something following. He quickened his pace, but was a robot so he didn't go much faster.

Then from the shadows jumped an ugly cat thing in a cloak, it was a jawa. It shot Gray2-D2 and the droid screamed in agony and collapsed on its side. The jawas took the lug metal and circuits to their giant transport vehicle and sent it shooting up the pipe to a droid holding room where they'd stash it until they'd find someone to buy the robots so they'd make a fortune.

Inside that room sat C3Fire0. "Oh my god, they got you too!" Gray2-D2 looked up. "Yep, they did." C3Fire0 had a melt down after that. "Holy Crap, we're gonna die! It's over!" That was pretty much what the ride was like after that.

Part 3: These People are really Weird

The shuttle that was carrying the 2 droids and many other unfortunate stolen robots, stopped at an apparently deserted house. It was pretty useless. A sand and mud hut with limited technology kind of thing. Yah, that was the bargain house of the day, or week, or... How far apart are these damn houses anyways!

The large metallic door opened. The jawas directed 5 or so droids out to the heat scorched sand to be bargained for and hopefully have atleast one sold after like 3 days to a week of traveling this unforgiving planet!!! Yep, it's a living. It's a living, alright. Pretty sad and uncomfortable, if I must say, but it is a living.

A young cat, he looked like a tabby cat with brown and black stripes. "Bramble," called a voice. "Bramble Skywalker!" the voice was louder this time. The cat dashed to see an old grey, blue cat sitting down a bench. "Tell your uncle Smudge that if he buys a translator he makes sure it speaks fox." "Whatever aunt Blue," was the reply. He dashed up to where his uncle Smudge was lazily trying to pick out a droid.

"Uncle!" called Bramble. His uncle gave a half caring stare back at him. "What?!" his uncle called back to him. "Can we have the grey one and the red one, they seem cool!" His uncle sighed and reluctantly agreed to buy the 2. Then the idea of buying them backfired. Bramble was given the assignment of cleaning them.

"This sucks," commented the Skywalker child. "All I wanted was to buy 2 simple robots and I have to clean them all out!" C3Fire0 looked at him. The made a sad frown. "You mean you don't like us?" Bramble looked back at him giving him a glance, and then went back to cleaning them.

"I wish I could fly away," he moaned. While cleaning through Gray2-D2 he accidentally pressed a button and a strange she-cat began to appear on screen repeating, 'Help me Lion-wan Kenobi, you're my only hope,' it basically kept repeating that over and over. "Wow, she's beautiful," Bramble Skywalker thought as the message itself flickered and died.

"Now I really wanna leave," he sighed. "I'm gonna go and shoot some mice." Then C3Fire0's face flushed sheet white. "You kill animals for fun? What sick twisted kid are you?" Then Bramble argued back. "There are no babes, no friends to hang with, and not much toys. What else am I supposed to do?" "Read a book," The droid replied. "You are sick and evil," shot back Bramble.

Bramble left for the comfort of his room and left the droids the sit alone while the family went to sleep. "You're the one he hates," said C3Fire0. "You upset him and made him go away." Gray2-D2 didn't argue. All that little grey blob of bolts could think about was the mission which for some reason only he seemed to know about for no particular reason.

"Hey C3Fire0," said Bramble the next day. "How are you?" The orange robot turned to him in panic and began to beg. "Don't dismantle me! It wasn't my fault, he left, not me! I didn't want him to!" As far as Bramble knew, he was being spoken to in some gibberish language. "Gray2-D2, he's gone!" Bramble's eyes shot out. "What in the... Where is he?" "Beats me," that was his reply.

The next morning Bramble and the droid went zooming from the sand and mud house straight to where a little grey droid was being tracked. They eventually arrived at the little robot's location. "You were gone for a day and a half, and this is as far as you make?" screamed Bramble. "Dude, that is weak." Gray2-D2 then shot up. "Oh my god, I forgot to buy a V8! Oh yah, there are some thingies from the, whatever, direction."

Bramble went to check it out. He saw 2 oversized cattle, then really hairy animal thing; a sand person; jumped at him and hit him in the head, knocking him out. They then searched his vehicle. "I found the ipod nano!" one shouted. Then a weird cloaked figure came down and scared them off.

Part 4: Mystery Man and Dead People

The mystery man took Bramble and the 2 strange robots to his house in the middle of nowhere. Bramble began to wake up and saw the old cat sitting beside him. "Who the hell are you?" he asked. The old cat looked at him. "I'm Lion-wan Kenobi. I awesome," he told Bramble. Bramble looked around the strange den.

"So, what are you, a farmer?" Bramble asked. "Because a Princess on this weird auto recording wanted you for some reason, don't know why?" Lion-wan Kenobi though for a couple seconds, then spoke. "Let's play the whole thing and see what it says. He pressed the button again (, all the way down this time).

The message began to play as a cloaked lady appeared. 'Hello Jedi, years ago, you helped my daddy. Now, I kind of need your help in this crazy rebellion thing. Sadly, I was attacked, and had to send this jacked up droid with system plot map for the battle station of the ShadowClan. Help me Lion-wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. Okay, how do I do this? What the frick is a slot?! This is what happens when you mix the wild with technology!" The message faded.

Then Lion-wan Kenobi showed Bramble what a light saber was, then the scene switched to some sort of jawa transport wreckage for no apparent reason. –Author Speaks: I am too lazy to write those parts. Enjoy the resumed scene. Review! Or I kill you in your sleep! Yah, I'm that evil.-

A giant jawa transport had somehow been attacked and demolished even though the thing is made of steel and is freaking huge! How the heck is did it get attacked! (Sorry, back to story.) C3Fire0 stared at the wreckage. "I'm sure glad we were bought, don't you think Gray2-D2?" Gray2-D2 shrugged, "I always wanted to try suicide. I guess I missed my chance."

"Oh god!" yelled Bramble. "These are the jawas who sold me Gray2 and 3Fire0! They know where my house is!" Lion-wan Kenobi ran up to him. "Don't go! You'll be neutered!" Bramble hopped into his speeder. "It's a chance I'll take for my aunt and uncle!" He sped away, zooming to his house.

When he arrived, flames had lit and the house was demolished. He looked and didn't see his aunt and uncle. "Aunt Blue, Uncle Smudge!" He looked once again and saw the two cats in kennels, both Aunt Blue had been spayed and Uncle Smudge had been neutered, it was just too late. "No!" yelled Bramble. "Now they can't mate! I'll never have a cousin! No! No!"

He arrived back at the carnage of the jawa incident where he found Lion-wan Kenobi and the two droids, tossing the jawas into a fire because they evil in a good way! Yay! "There's nothing left for me," he said. "I wanna be a Jedi and learn the ways fresh kill, just like you did." Lion-wan smiled. "Great, now let's go to the city!"

The quartet jumped into the speeder and zoomed off toward a new future, which they'd arrive at in 30 or so minutes. They stopped at a canyon and overlooked a city. "The Four Trees Spaceport," said Lion-wan. "You'll find a more wretched hive of warriors' cats from the four sagas that Erin Hunter has written."

Part 5 The Two People who'd Take Them

They sped straight through a weird area of rouges, warriors, kittypets, and loners; all trying to get to ship and leave this desert ball and never come back. Then, as they dived deeper into the space zone, a storm trooper stopped them. "How long have owned these droids?" Lion-wan Kenobi killed him with his claws and yelled, "Drive!" They sped off.

"Why didn't you use a mind-trick instead of killing him?" asked Bramble Skywalker. Lion-wan Kenobi looked over at him and answered him. "In this story we use the powers of the fresh kill, not the force." "Oh..." Now it made sense to Bramble. They didn't use psychic powers in this fan fiction, they just killed each other.

The two drove up to a bar where they for some reason let the underage cat in, but not the androids that can't even drink. While the 2 droids had to hide in some abandoned apartment, Skywalker and Kenobi were busy finding a pilot to take them to Alderaan, a planet of peaceful cats. Bramble eventually got bored and went over to the bar to get a drink, um... Don't share that with the police. Or else Brambleclaw in warriors will get arrested and The Warriors cats' series will end.

Bramble approached the bar and a really old cat came up to him, "You 21 or what?" he asked. "Nope," Bramble replied. "Big beer please," he asked. "Uh...," the guy thought. "Ah, whatever," he said handing him one and squirting extra alcohol in it. "If the health inspector comes, here's a fake ID." He handed him an ID license with his picture and the name saying Teddy Fredrickson, a member off the kittypet society.

Bramble then took to drinking it. Two strange cats came up to him. "In the warriors' series, we're rouges. We've come to kill you because you took the last beer! We wanted it!" They were about to attack Bramble as Lion-wan jumped out of nowhere and cut their arms off with his claws. "Get out of here!" yelled the Jedi. "By the way Bramble," began Lion-wan. "I found us great pilots. They're smugglers, but nevertheless, great pilots."

They sat down next to 2 random cats who Lion-wan found while Bramble was getting a drink. "Hi," one cat said. "I'm Storm Solo, and this is my partner." He pointed to the really fuzzy cat. "Dustbacca," the dark fuzzy cat looked at them. "Gurgle, Gurgle. I hate you all. Gurgle, why'd it have to be a star wars, warriors; mix." Storm looked back at the cats. "Okay, you pay 10 grand in mice and then we take yah to wherever."

"Okay," Lion-wan. "We need to make a lemonade stand if we're ever gonna get that money." Bramble and Kenobi then set up a lemonade stand charging 1 mouse per cup.

Meanwhile, The droids were playing yahtzee in the abandoned apartment, Skywalker and Kenobi were at their lemonade stand, Solo was shooting Greedo (; I'm not giving him a cat to parody him, I have enough trouble with that already ;), and Dustbacca was fixing the ship.

Storm Solo then went to check on his ship and saw Jabba the Sandstorm waiting for him. "Flw wam wgvm wkemm rhdjmls!" shouted Jabba the Sandstorm. "What the hell are you saying," asked Solo. "Flw wam wgvm wkemm rhdjmls!!!" He bellowed again. "I'll pay yah if you never say that again, give me a month and you get your money." Storm promised. Jabba was so happy he left.

After awhile, everyone boarded the ship, sadly, storm troopers started to shoot at them. Yet somehow they managed to escape and make it into space. They began to speed, but people had targeted them.

Part 6: The Road to The Death Hairball

As the ship sped away from the planet; the 2 droids, Strom Solo, Bramble Skywalker, and Lion-wan Kenobi, who were all on the Millennium Clanship were zooming out of the planets atmosphere and were now being followed by a star destroyer who was rapidly gaining.

"What are we gonna do?!?" yelled Bramble. Storm looked at him. "Don't worry, we'll lose them if we do a squiggly maneuver then do a super cool hyperspace scene." Bramble looked back. "But they're gaining!" Storm seemed careless. "We got five main characters and one main ship right now, I think we're gonna be fine." "Ironically, I agree with him." Agreed Gray2-D2.

They went faster and faster, swerving up and down, left and right, forward and backwards, and anything else they could do, until they disappeared in a flash of blue light and were gone. It was a terrible loss on board the ship. "Damn it!" yelled the admiral. "It was your fault we lost them, you're telling Hawk-Vader!" he said as he blamed on of the crew mates.

The Millennium Clanship was still in a blue light colored ball as it zoomed across the universe really fast. The people inside were playing some warrior based clan version of chess. They were swerving round and round, like on the merry-go-round at Carowinds theme park.

While the ship had no idea that they were zooming to a giant death, on the Death Hairball, Princess Squirrelflight was directed to room with a giant claw shooter. She saw Hawk-Vader. "Where are the ThunderClan rebels?!?" The evil Sith yelled. "I forgot," yawned the Princess. "Then we destroy Alderaan! Press the shiny red button!" The button was pressed and a giant claw shot at it. The planet was pierced and it was blown up it smithereens. "What was the point of that?" asked the Princess, still not caring.

While Alderaan was being destroyed, the Millennium Clanship was approaching the destination. "So," asked Bramble. "How do yah pilot it?" Storm answered with this. "I have no idea. We're cats, it's a wonder I got us out of that last fix. Cats don't know how to us technology idiot. Oh look our destination."

They exited hyperspace to find only a giant spherical object. "Oh my god, what is that!" shouted C3Fire0. "Gurgle, what the heck." Sounded Dustbacca. "It's the Death Hairball." Vaguely answered Lion-wan Kenobi. Solo looked at Kenobi. "Of all the parodies for the death star, this is what we come up with? That name sucks."

Then a tractor beam began to pull them in. "That sucks more." Said Gray2-D2.

Part 7: We're on Death Hairball

The ship was sucked into hanger bay 13-A unit-Section C 24-Block 5- Top Left Zone of the Hairball. They were pulled in through the tractor beam into a small hanger, fit for probably only 5 ships. Storm troopers marched in front of it. Then Hawk-Vader came out and began to stare at it. "Where the heck did this come from? Wait, I sense the plans on board! Find them!"

The storm troopers began to board and search the ship. What they didn't realize was that under the floor boards was a hideout full of smuggled candy and other deserts. When they climbed out, they all had brown mustaches, well, except the droids. "I wish we could eat candy." C3Fire0 complained as he kicked the wall in angst. "Me too," said Gray2-D2.

"Shut up!" yelled Bramble. "I have a plan; Kenobi, you set the tractor beam loose; Droids, you hide in that corner; everyone else, come with me to save the princess! Got it?" Everyone nodded. "Then Go! Go! GO!" They all dashed out. Since the storm troopers were in about face, an army signal meaning freeze, they couldn't chase after them.

C3Fire0 and Gray2-D2 hid in the corner as instructed to them. They began to tremble in fear. "What are we gonna do?" asked C3Fire0. "What if they find us?" "Well," began Gray2-D2. "If they do find us, we scream like a banshee and get the heck out of there." "Great plan," the orange droid replied.

Lion-wan set out to find the tractor beam machine, as he reached the machine, he saw 2 storm troopers guarding it. "You will die!" The cat Jedi yelled as he charged at them and slit open their necks. He then ran to the levers. "Oh god, which one do I pull?" He began to panic. "Okay, uh... One shoots me, one releases the beam, and one gets me a martini. I want a martini and to save the day, so I'll pull both!" The glow around the ship disappeared and an icy adult beverage dropped out.

Skywalker and the others were trying to find the cells, so they stole some uniforms and barged into the jail center. "The hallway is on fire!" shouted Storm Solo. "Run for your lives." Everyone dashed out of the room and Dustbacca locked the door.

Bramble ran up the hallway and pressed the open button on the jail door. Princess Squirrelflight looked out and saw Bramble in the storm trooper suit. "A little short for a storm trooper cat, don't you think?" Bramble then pulled off his mask. "I'm Bramble Skywalker; I'm here to rescue you! Along with 2 droids, 2 smugglers, and Kenobi, let's go!"

They barged out of the cell and then troopers busted in and began firing their claw guns. The Princess then grabbed a gun and shot a hole in the garbage vent. All 4 jumped in. Somehow, they all fit through. Luke was almost eaten by garbage monster, the walls almost closed on them, but Gray2-D2 shut it off in time, they ran out of the place through a door. Wow, a whole scene from star wars in a paragraph!

They were then split up as Storm and Dustbacca ran into some storm troopers no in the about face stance so they had to run away. On the other hand, Bramble and Squirrelflight made it to a bridge which for some reason had no middle. Luckily a rope was there so the 2 swung to safety and didn't die a horrible death from the people who were shooting and falling.

Somehow everyone except Lion-wan Kenobi who died as he was cut in half in a suicidal choice by Hawk-Vader, so long story short, Hawk-Vader killed Lion-wan Kenobi. The others which included Bramble Skywalker, Storm Solo, Dustbacca, C3Fire0, Gray2-D2, and Princess Squirrelflight all escaped, but not without 'company.'

They were now being followed by 3 Tie Fighters which were trying to shoot down the ship. Skywalker and Solo were busy trying to shoot down the ships. 'They're coming in too fast!" yelled Bramble. Storm got a really ticked off expression. "Sorry about that, let me tell 'em to slow down! Oh wait. That won't happen!" Then Luke shot one out. Storm shot out the other 2. Then they escaped. Too bad they had a tracking beacon stuck to them with Elmer's Glue.

Part 8: How we'll beat them

So the ship which carried all of the people who escaped the Death Hairball got off at a forest planet call Yavin 4. Why it was the 4th Yavin, no one knows. Maybe the others were blown up by the Death Hairball as well. So uh, they fled to the planet and got off to hear how the heck they were supposed to do this.

A cat then came to greet them. "Ah, Princess Squirrelflight," he told the Princess. "So glad to see you're alive, when we heard about Alderaan we feared the worst." Squirrelflight wasn't interested. "That's great, but we're being tracked. I don't have time for stories or greetings. We have to find a weakness now!

After a whole hour of deciphering the technical read out of the battle station, which was hard considering they were cats, they figured out what to do and how to do it. They plugged Gray2-D2 into the wall and a projector showed how to successfully bomb and destroy the station. You were to fly near the Death Hairball and swerve into a shaft the shoot a 10 inch bomb in a 10.01 inch hole. Very shallow odds, but they were gonna do it.

After the info was displayed, they took a vote of whether to attack or not. There were 19 no's and 2 yeses. The only 2 yeses were from Bramble and someone who wasn't going to fight. "It seems pretty clear," said the general. "Most of you decided to vote no, but we're gonna do the strike anyways. Get you Zero-G suits on, we're gonna do an impossible odds mission." Everyone except Bramble groaned.

As they were getting ready to leave, Storm Solo and Dustbacca were busy packing their rewards and getting ready to head off. "So," said a familiar voice. Bramble stepped out of the shadows. "You're just leaving?" "Yah," replied Solo. "I ain't part of this rebel crap. I'm here for this freaking big reward. Now I gotta pay some space cat, worm thing." Bramble walked away. "Selfish." It was said loud enough for Storm to hear.

Bramble said goodbye to The Princess and C3Fire0. He put Gray2-D2 into the astromech compact hole for the astromech droid cat to get into. This would help with the navigation. The ships made sounds and began to rocket off. Hoorays and good lucks were being shouted from crowd. If this doesn't work, the rebellion will fall and I won't be able to write Star Warriors V or Star Warriors VI. The series would collapse.

Part 9 Attack when we'll Probably Die

The team of eight fighters pursued the Death Hairball. They got closer and closer until they were about 3 feet from it. Then they were too close and had to pull up. To bad one fighter couldn't in time and blew up.

"We lost Dave," one fighter said. "Ah, who cares? He was a kittypet." Another one said. "Now don't bother me, I'm trying to watch Hey Arnold, The Movie on my VHS player which won't stop breaking. Damn it!" Then the guy who was trying to watch a movie, crashed into another fighter and they both blew up.

"Hey Bramble," called on fighter. "Yah," Bramble replied. "We uh... We just lost like 3 out of our 10 fighters. So there's 7 or some dumb number left. Is that a problem, because I don't really know?" He then crashed and died to carelessness of the radio intercom. Remember teens and adults, don't let the radio crash into some freaking object, rip your radio out of the car and toss it into the river in a sac.

"We're screwed," said Bramble. The fleet of 6 remaining ships flew in closer to the Death Hairball.

Bramble radioed in Princess Squirrelflight. "Bad news Princess. This is Skywalker, we have a problem." Princess Squirrelflight picked up the intercom link. "What's wrong?" she asked. "We lost 4." Then she hears a boom. "Make that 5. We're under attack by Tie Fighters. "Gotta go, trying to save free world!" Then all she heard was a click. "We're screwed." She said to herself.

Back up in space. The remaining 5 were in a heated battle against the Tie Fighters trying to shoot them and make them die. Then another boom was heard the 6th pilot became another lost in the heated battle of space. With only 4 pilots left, it was going to be tough to defend themselves and hit a nearly impossible target. They were certainly screwed.

The remaining 4 zoomed into the ditch of the hairball. They randomly began firing. "Wait!" Bramble shouted. "I have an idea." They began randomly shooting again. "New idea," he told them. They shot randomly again. "Let's try something else." He finally said. They repeated it again. "New plan, again," Bramble yelled. "Switch on the targeting system!" The power systems began locking on the target. It was no or never. Probably never, though, that's my guess.

The squadron of cat began locking onto the hole which was 0.001 or something inches bigger than the claw they were firing. Best guess, they weren't gonna make it. The first cat took his shot, the cat pilot shot another persons engine and he blew up. Then, 2 Tie Fighters and Hawk-Vader's Tie Bomber got into the trench and shot out another ship. The rebels had to hurry. The hairball was a minute away from blowing up Yavin.

"I have you now," Hawk-Vader said as he aimed at Bramble. But as he tried to fire, one of the Tie Fighters blew into smithereens. "What?" he said. It was the Millennium Clanship. "Okay kid," Storm Solo said as he contacted Bramble. "Let's blow this cat vomit and go home." Bramble amazingly shot it. What a lucky save. Bramble, the other remaining rebel cat pilot, and Storm all began to fly back to Yavin.

Hawk-Vader had managed to escape as he flew off to the nearest star destroyer. Behind him, an awful for some, but amazing for some, site was taking place. The Death Hairball began to blow to smithereens in a fiery explosion. Too bad the Emperor and Hawk-Vader weren't on it so it was a shallow victory.

Part 10: Awards and Bad News

Storm Solo, Dustbacca, and Bramble all received awards from Princess Squirrelflight. "Thank you," she said. "You three helped us in a time where most of us thought that we were pretty much screwed." All three of the heroes nodded. They were proud of what they'd accomplished.

"So..." Solo began. "Does this mean we won? The Death Hairball is gone, so, we won right?" he asked the Princess. She began to chuckle a little bit to his question. "No, it's not over." She replied. "We haven't killed the Emperor or Hawk-Vader. Plus, all the imperial bases and ships, oh we have much to do.

Solo began going into a rampage. It wasn't a pretty ceremony after that. And what happened to the droids. They were video taping this and posting it on Youtube. Hooray for the site which ruins peoples lives!

Credits

Cast:

(Actor – Character)

Firestar – C3P0

Graystripe – R2-D2

Brambleclaw – Luke Skywalker

Stormfur – Han Solo

Dustpelt – Chewbacca

Squirrelflight – Princess Leia

Lionheart – Obi-wan Kenobi

Hawkfrost – Darth-Vader

Himself – Greedo (I couldn't find anyone to act as him.)

Sandstorm - Jabba the Hut

Bluestar - Aunt Beru

Smudge - Uncle Owen

Kittypets, Rouges, and Clan cats - Storm Troopers, and other people

Director – Snowwhistle

Writer – Snowwhistle

Concept – Snowwhistle

Special thanks to everyone who reads this and Warriors Cats'

Copyright: December, 2009

Trailer: In February, 2010. There will be, Star Warriors V, When the Empire Tries to win, an all new release to , an insanely awesome adventure where Star Wars becomes abridged by Warriors, premiering February, 2010. Sneak Peak: - "What will we do!" screamed Princess Squirrelflight. "We go into an asteroid field." Solo replied. "It's crazy, and probably won't work, but I don't care." The Princess looked out the window in disgust. "We haven't been this screwed since we attacked the Death Hairball." – Coming Soon!


	2. Star Warriors V

**Sorry for the wait, by the way... I need reviews! Please! I've had this up for two months with no reviews. Your reviews make me want to keep writing so please, REVIEW!!!**

Star Warriors V

When the Empire Tries to Win

So, a new adventure is beginning, well, not exactly new, but new to this abridged series. Boo yah! So um... we begin the journey with a young cat and uh... Oh wait, that was episode IV. What I meant to say was, the rebellion won, but for some reason was driven away even though they beat the freaking Death Hairball! I mean what the hell? Anyways, the ThunderClan rebellion left Yavin 4 and teleported themselves to some ice planet called Hoth or something. I don't know how the hell they got there, and I really don't care. Well... Hawk-Vader wants to find Bramble Skywalker so he shot these droids to find him. How the hell he did it? I don't know that either... So enjoy...

Part 1: I am a Slave to That?

An imperial ship shot across the galaxy, it was on a mission which it itself would not do. So in the name of laziness, it shot out like 500 droids down to like 500 planets or something. It made no sense; they had an army, send it! Well, they shot the things and they pelted the surface of planets. Okay, now that we know that, we can get the important crap. Yah, we can do that now.

Bramble Skywalker was out riding a rabbit, because the planet was big, so he didn't want to walk it. As he saw the meteors (spoiler: really the droids,) pelt onto the planet he called Storm Solo on his cell. "Hey Solo!" He yelled into it. "Yah," a voice responded. "I saw something crash, I'm gonna go check it out." "Do whatever the hell you want, you die; it ain't my problem."

He guided his rabbit closer to the carnage and then his rabbit went from monotone, to super evil random crazy and bunch of other words. Skywalker pulled on the reins, "Easy girl, what the hell is wrong with you today. Wake up on the wrong side of the hostile pen we keep you in." Just then, a giant creature that looked surprisingly like a dog took him captive as he killed the rabbit and knocked out Bramble, he dragged the two off.

Meanwhile while that was happening, Storm Solo and his rabbit were returning to the base.

"Dustbacca," Storm called. "Those repairs better be done soon or I'm going off the deep end." His only response a hammer being chucked at his head and getting a very serious head injury, yah, it was that harsh. "You know what, I think you suck! Why did I even make you my co-pilot?"

All of the sudden, Gray2-D2 and C3Fire0 came running in. "We have something important to say!" yelled C3Fire0. "Bramble Skywalker hasn't returned to the base, we're doomed to recasting him with Spongebob!" "Don't freak," told Storm Solo. "I'm going on my rabbit to find him." "He'll freeze and die!" "Good, I'll have a snack and find Bramble." He hopped on the rabbit and it dashed off to find Bramble.

Meanwhile; Bramble was hanging from a strange roof. He saw his rabbit being eaten by a dog. "Damn it! That was mine!" He yelled. He saw that his slicing claw was lying on the icy floor. He did and awkward motion with his hand and made it look like he was pushing something (; wink, wink ;) but finally used the power of the fresh kill to retrieve his slicing claw. He cut the dogs arm off and ran for it.

While he was running, he fell in the snow and couldn't get up. Just then, an image of Lion-wan appeared. "Go to the Degobah system, find Crowda. He will teach you the freshkill. By the way, I love Geico." Just then, the image vanished as Storm ran through it. "Oh my god, he's almost dead!" "Degobah, Crowda, Lion-wan, fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance."

Then, the rabbit died. "Oh boy, lunch!" yelled Solo. "Hey Skywalker, you want some?" Bramble was unconscious. "I can see you're busy, I'll just eat it all myself." He began to ravenously scarf his riding animal down.

The next day they were found and taken back. Bramble was shaved and given new fur to wear. Princess Squirrelflight said nerpherder; I don't even know what that means. And, Bramble and Princess Squirrelflight kiss, I mean they're siblings. That's just wrong; very, very wrong. (Oops, for those of you, who haven't seen the movies; forget you ever heard that. That was a Major spoiler!)

Since nothing else cool happens, we're gonna move along to the next part. What, you think of something else that can be abridged in this part. No, nothing... I didn't think so.

Part 2: The Fight for a Barren Planet

"Princess!" yelled Gray2-D2. "Someone's at the door!" Princess Squirrelflight looked pissed. "Can't you see I'm playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl???" "But, the door..." "You answer it, damn it!" She went back to playing her wii. A pissed Gray2-D2 answered it.

It appeared as an Imperial Spy Droid, wearing a magazine salesman costume. "Perfect," it exclaimed. "The Emperor will now know of this place and we can strike it down; HA, HA, HA!" Gray2 slammed the door. "Princess," Gray2 called. "The Emperor knows we're on Hoth now. We should probably leave." "Just a sec," she replied. "I'm busy trying to beat the Subspace Emissary." Gray2-D2 was pissed.

The Princess finished the game and leapt toward the ThunderClan Rebel pilots. "Okay guys, we're going to go straight at them. We'll fire a gun, and hopefully you'll survive. Let's move people!" They all hopped in their planes and started to zoom off. Imperial troops began to land on Hoth.

Outside, the naval men were prepared for attack. "Hey, random ThunderClan cat, were screwed." "Nah," the other one replied. "Not unless they got giant robots." Giant robots became visible in the distance. "Oh crap, they got lots of giant robots. Run!" The army men began running in vast circles. One man bravely ran toward them. "You all gonna die!" He was shot.

Bramble was shooting harpoons, only to find that he only destroyed one of them. Then, he sadly crashed. "Help me!" Skywalker called. He only heard screams. "You all suck!" he yelled before he hypocritically ran off and did the same thing. "Come on, is this really what's gonna happen? Are we seriously just gonna die?"

Inside the base, things were falling. People were crashing, things were bashing. Words began to sound like something that came out of a picture book for a bunch of four year olds! Squirrelflight and C3Fire0 were still in the base for some reason. "Keep fighting guys!" she yelled into an intercom. 'Snowtroopers and Hawk-Vader have entered the base!' said a loud speaker. "Get the hell out of here," she in turn, yelled into the intercom.

Just then, Storm Solo appeared out of nowhere. "Need a ride?" he asked sarcastically. "Guess I'm not stupid or idiotic anymore, am I?" The princess grumbled then followed him onto the ship. Dustbacca was on the controls. "Okay guys, we gotta get out now." Then the Empire began to shoot at them. "This is just like the episode 4 scene, but with the Princess and without Gray2, Bramble, or that old guy." They blasted off.

"Crap," said Hawk-Vader. "We're too late. Oh well, who wants some Klondike bars? They're easy to make because you can freeze anything on this planet." "I do," all of the cats in armor said. "Good," Vader replied. "I'm also adding tuna, because we're cats. Cats like tuna."

On the other hand, Bramble and Gray2-D2 blasted off in the opposite direction of the meeting point. "Where in the heck are we going?" asked Gray2-D2. "The Degobah system, Lion-wan told me go there." Bramble responded. "You mean the dead guy?" "Yep," "Cuckoo..."

Part 3: Yoga with Crowda

The ship that contained Bramble Skywalker was hurdling towards the planet of Degobah. They were getting closer as the time went on and on and on. Then eventually, they reached a planet which looked like baby's barf green mixed mud brown with hints of a blue green sort of color here and there. (Look at me, I'm an artist.)

The ship began to plummet to the planet below. "This Bramble, we've entered the planet, please turn off pagers, cell phones, and other electronic devices." He spoke like a captain for a plane. "But I'm on the Warriors' cats site on my laptop," whined Gray2-D2. "Turn it off!" "FINE, I will!" Gray2-D2 switched off. "Much better, I can see the swamp."

The ship plummeted and crashed to the ground. Bramble hopped out. So did Gray2-D2. They'd apparently crashed onto a swampy place with a mucky sort of look to it. Gray2-D2 fell in and was swallowed by a monster, and wasn't seen for awhile. "Is this a reference to the part in the Warriors' books where Graystripe was missing?" asked Bramble. "You just gave it away," said my voice from outside this fan fiction.

Gray2-D2 was shot out of the water and landed on the ground. "Damn it, that hurt!" he yelled. "That was a reference to when he came back," said Bramble. He checked to see if he was okay. "You okay?" "Yah, I'm just in pain and hurt... no I'm not! What kind of question is that?"

They set up a base camp. "Hello?" said a voice. Bramble pointed a gun behind him. "Hey," said a strange green cat thing with crow like eyes. "Who are you?" asked Bramble. "I'm Crowda." He responded. "Are you here to learn the ways of the freshkill?" "Sure," Skywalker replied. "You're in, now go climb a tree."

Bramble climbed to the top of a tree and then scurried back down. "Do it fifty more times." Crowda commanded. Bramble kept doing it. "You wanna go get some mice?" Crowda asked Gray2-D2. "Sure," they left.

"Bring me back some," Bramble yelled as he kept climbing up and down. "How much longer do I do this? Hello, guys? Can someone move this to the next scene?"

It was a tedious process. I had to type using my fingers and I had to use energy and I had to work and do this after school and watch TV and do this in my spare time. It was just really, really hard. It took way too long, I mean, it was really, really, really, really, really, really hard! And I mean hard! It was oh so hard! I got tired of writing this, but did I quit, heck no! I kept at it and accomplished this!

Author Powahs!!!

POOF!!!

Welcome to the next scene everybody.

Part 4: Flying through Asteroids

The ship, the Millennium Clanship had blasted off the planet and was now being chased by a fleet of tie fighters and four star destroyers from the ShadowClan Empire. I don't know how they were found. It probably happened off screen. Well, they were being shot at and they were running out of fuel, it was just awful. Really, it was just awful.

"What will we do!" screamed Princess Squirrelflight. "We go into an asteroid field." Solo replied. "It's crazy, and probably won't work, but I don't care." The Princess looked out the window in disgust. "We haven't been this screwed since we attacked the Death Hairball."

They flew straight into that chasm which went on for miles and miles of asteroids. It was pointlessly hard to describe this chapter. So, I'll explain it like this. They dodged asteroids and trees, because this needs some warriors essence added to this to make it seem like it has something to do with warriors.

Eventually, they outmaneuvered all of the tie fighters with their ShadowClan pilots inside of them, trying to fly it.

"So, where are we gonna hide?" asked the princess. "How about that dark forbidding hole in that somehow giant meteoroid which is usually smaller than an asteroid, but hey, I'm a cat, I wouldn't know." Solo answered. "So, we're gonna hide in it?" "Yah, pretty much, sorry, I over complicated it, my bad!"

He did a ridiculously cool maneuver with his ThunderClan insignia shaped ship and divided into the hole.

After an hour and a half of fixing the ship, they heard a rumbling noise and went outside to investigate. The ground was soft and fluffy like a cushion. Since C3Fire0 used to be a kitty pet, he went with his kittypet instincts and started to rip it up like a cushion.

A loud pissed sound was heard and the cats crowded back into the Clanship and flew it out. "Oh freaking no, the cave is caving in!" yelled Gray2-D2. "I don't think that this cave is a cave, I think it's a Twoleg home in an Earthquake." C3Fire0 replied.

One game of Yahtzee; the Warriors' addition; later...

The ship flew out of a giant space worm that hid in the meteor. It looked like Sandstorm, actually. In fact, that is Sandstorm's role in this.

"Why do I play all the worm related characters?" complained Sandstorm who was a worm. "Shut up! I hated you as a wife!" Firestar replied. "Just read the other story this fan fiction author wrote, Warriors Mouse Cash! Then you'll see why I hate you. Also read Warriors Bird Fight." (Did I just advertisement in my story? Oh; I did. WHOOPS!)

Just as they left the asteroid belt, the ships that were chasing them found them, ironic right? Yah, no; that was an easy to guess plot; even if you haven't watched the movie, 'Star Wars V, The Empire Strikes Back, it's an easy kind of guess.'

Meanwhile, on board the one of Star Destroyers, Hawk-Vader walked into a hologram telephone room. An image of Emperor Tigerstar appeared on the board. "You called?" asked Hawk-Vader through his mask.

"Yah, I did." The striped and big clawed cat replied. "Have you captured that rebellious kid who trashed my ultimate source of power?" "What?" "Have you caught Bramble Skywalker?" "No." "Then get him." "Okay..."

The image faded. "Now how to catch Skywalker?" thought Hawk-Vader.

Part 5: A Battle and Escape

The Millennium Clanship drove away from the battle ship. It zoomed left and right, up and down, forwards and backwards, slanting and curving, bending and carving. It was doing thing which I couldn't describe with words. It flew on and on and on. Too bad it had a fleet on its tail. That fleet didn't seem to want to give up. It wanted really, really badly.

"What do we do now?" yelled C3Fire0. "Gurgle, attack them!" yelled Dustbacca. "Great idea!" called Storm. "Why is it, gurgle; that I have, gurgle; very little lines, gurgle; and always have to say gurgle, gurgle." "Because you're playing Chewbacca, so shut up Dustpelt! I mean... um; Dustbacca."

The ship went up and down and turned around. It zoomed straight at the Millennium Clanship. "Oh my god, they're gonna kamikaze us! Crash positions!" yelled one of cat generals aboard the star destroyer. Then the ship disappeared. "Oh my god, he pulled a Houdini on us!" he then yelled. "So who's telling Lord Vader?" The room was abandoned. "Damn it!"

The ship which was appeared to have pulled a Houdini was actually parked on the side of the star destroyer. "So, who has lunch?" asked Storm Solo. "I do!" yelled Princess Squirrelflight. "Okay, who had the dead mouse on rye, who here had the bird soup, who had the fishy cake, and um... who had the lamb sirloin?"

"We do!" They all said.

One lunch break later...

(Okay, so I added that part because I needed a lunch break. What're yah gonna do? We all gotta eat don't we? Yah, we all do.)

After the lunch break they all started the ship again. "So uh... where are we headed to?" asked C3Fire0. "I mean, we could go to Four Trees. I know a guy." "Actually," responded Squirrelflight. "That place was destroyed during the Great Journey Arc. Thanks to Twolegs, it no longer exists." "Damn it!"

"I know where we can go," said Storm Solo. "How about this place called Bespin. Their leader is this guy called Blackfoot Callrisian or however the hell you spell it." (I seriously can't spell his last name.)

"Should we go?" asked the Princess.

"Yes," Solo answered.

They turned their hyper drive on and blasted away from the ships. Little did they know they were being stalked by a bounty hunter, whose name was Darka Fett, he was after them in league with the Empire.

Dun! Dun! DUN!

Part 6: A New Plan and Police Caught

For the last two parts, the poor cat we know as Bramble Skywalker was running up and down the same tree. Then Crowda and Gray2-D2 came back. "That was a great mice picnic." Crowda commented. "What made it better was being with friends," Gray2-D2 yelled merrily. "But I have this feeling we forgot something."

"I've been running up and down this same tree for two whole story parts!" Bramble yowled. "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN I AM IN?!?" "No..." Gray2-D2 said. "That's not it. Oh yah, we never packed a bottle of ketchup blood, the ketchup for cats!" Bramble began to steam. "Oh yah, we also left that guy over there."

"I'm the cat who you're supposed to have been teaching!" Bramble yowled. Gray2-D2 and Crowda fell silent. "Oh my god, you don't remember me, do you!" yelled the striped cat. "You put me through that for a good twelve hours! The least you could do is try to and remember my damn name!"

Then, a force suddenly snapped him from his yelling. "I'm having a vision!" Skywalker yelled. "I think my friends are gonna die if I don't leave!" yelled Bramble. "Gray2-D2, gather you mice bars, we're leaving!" They packed their objects onto the ship. Then as they were about to take off, Crowda ran to them.

"Why you leaving meh'?" he yelled. "Yah," Lion-wan's ghostly form suddenly appeared. "Why are you leaving him?" The ship blasted off without taking a second opinion about the enraged voices that were just heard. The planet went dark again.

"Well, we've been abandoned. And he was our last hope, and he may as well be doing suicide for trying to attempt what he's doing." Crowda said. "I know, it sucks," Lion-wan responded. "They didn't even leave any food for us; I haven't eaten in twenty years." "I'm a ghost; I can't eat, so to me it makes no difference. I feel sorry for you though."

Meanwhile...

On the other side of the galaxy, the police of Bespin had caught up with the Millennium Clanship. "I'm not drunk just because I had ninety-three shots of beer!" Storm Solo yelled drunkenly through the COM link. "What would make you people possibly; HICKUP; think that!"

Bam, Bam, Bam! Shots were fired at them. "I tell yah, these spacecraft cops get more and more wicked every year." The Clanship was pulled over at Cloud City. Luckily, the town that Blackfoot Callrisian lived in; the Clanship pulled over at docking bay for, section 3, base 18, part A, drop out zone 9.3453, landing dock T67 in the midway section of the landing platform.

As the ship docked, Solo fainted.

"Great; just freaking perfect, that's just super!" Princess Squirrelflight yelled. "Now who'll explain this all to the cops that we _'weren't drunk driving!'_"

"I could," C3Fire0 explained. Dustbacca opened his mouth to speak but C3Fire0 covered his mouth before he could say anything. "I'd be careful about talking if I were you," advised C3Fire0. "You only get one more line in this story, don't waste it here.

Dustbacca grumbled, but remained silent. Just then, a tall cat who was grey with black paws walked out, he looked so stylish. It was actually kind of cool. This must've been the cat who Storm was talking about.

Part 7: It's a Trap!

Blackfoot walked up to them, "Why is Solo drunk and passed out here?" he asked. "He drank way... too much," the Princess responded. "It's a message to kids out there who'd like to drink. It's unsafe, Storm is alive because this story isn't real, it's fake, but trust us, don't drink. It's very, very bad for you."

"So... You guys wanna take a tour of our wonderful floating forest township?" Callrisian asked. "Sure," replied Dustbacca, "Damn it! I used up my last line in this thing!" "What he meant to say was, yes." Squirrelflight told him. "So, where do we go first?"

He led them to a room with a time machine. "What is it?" asked C3Fire0. "A time machine, but harbors no use for cats. Now a paperclip would be useful. But we're eons away from that kind of technology," replied Blackfoot. "Are eons a measure of distance or time?" "Don't know, on with the tour."

They stopped at a door. "Hey C3Fire0," Blackfoot said. "Did you know in there is a candy factory." C3Fire0 looked in the door. "Looks more like a robot dismantling facility." "Uh... No! It's a candy factory. See, over there is the chocolate bun buns. And um... over there are lollypops. And eh... the candy is shaped like mice!" Blackfoot didn't have to say anything else. C3Fire0 rushed in. "On with the tour."

They rounded several halls of cats. The three remaining heroes walked down the hall into a room filled with dining chairs and candles and a chandler and a foods and a baseball smashed window and best of all! Their very own Hawk-Vader! Eh... Wait a second...

One second later...

Oh god, Hawk-Vader!

Dustbacca tried to speak but couldn't because he ran out of allowed lines so he did this. "Gurgle, gurgle!" Storm Solo, who'd just waken from being drunk; took out a gun and fired it at Hawk-Vader; surprisingly, Vader only blocked it with his hand and the power of the freshkill.

Suddenly, the gun flew out his hand and zoomed into Hawk-Vader's hand. Then, stormtrooper cats surrounded the barriers and Darka Fett holding a damn big blaster! "Who to the hell cast him to Boba Fett?" asked Princess Squirrelflight. "Obviously the person who writes this junk." Solo replied.

"Sorry old buddy," Callrisian replied. "They gave three mice, an mp3 player with a warriors' book trailer on it, and um... a Klondike bar. I see it as a fair trade? You guys think so; right?"

"You suck." Storm told him. "I'd be happy if you'd join me for lunch and a little bit of sharing stories. Mine is how I got cast this part. Yours can be where the ThunderClan rebels are and what would make Bramble come here." Hawk-Vader told them.

The door shut...

Part 8: Frozen! In rock, wow; rock...

Storm Solo and everyone else was led into a room with a giant vat of clay. They all looked down into it. "It's pretty deep," said Storm. "Blackfoot, buddy; what's going?" Blackfoot sighed. "I'm afraid we're going to encase you in a solid mold. A.K.A. we're gonna turn you into a rock statue."

"Wait a second!" yelled C3Fire0. "How the hell did I end up on Dustbacca's back with out my legs?" Dustbacca did sign language that meant, 'During a deleted scene, you were put there.' The Princess looked at Storm and the vat. "I love Storm," she said. "I know, Squirrelflight" replied Storm.

He was pushed in. "Wait!" yelled Storm. "If I'm gonna be frozen for three years, atleast let me get into a pose, I like!" he went through several poses and finally stopped in pose where he was doing the tango. "This is good!" he yelled. "Fire that piece of crap up!" A noise began to whirl! "God damn y..." Storm's voice was silenced.

All of the sudden, a metallic claw that was shaped like a cat paw reached down and grabbed the concrete substance. Out came the frozen form of Strom Solo. He appeared to be doing the disco. Also, his face looked like it was cussing everyone. Then Vader looked at it. "Good god, that thing is ugly. You know what, sell it Sandstorm the Hutt. I don't want it."

A couple of stormtrooper cats lifted the frozen cat on a cart and rolled him off. "Sorry the art went bad," said Hawk-Vader to Darka Fett. "Here's three thousand dollars to compensate for the Strom frozen statue ugly." Darka Fett took the money. "I lost an amazing art thing to this! You suck!" he yelled to his face. "I hope I die in the Warriors' Series!"

The only people left in the room were Blackfoot, C3Fire0 (on Dustbacca's back), Dustbacca, the princess, and the Geico money man. "Yah," said the money man. "I'm here with Lion-wan ghost because he likes me..." He paused. "What the hell? Did I miss my scene? Damn it!" the money man walked off.

"Who wants to escape?" asked Blackfoot. "We do!" everyone replied. "Well then let's go!"

They all ran down the halls. "How the hell are we gonna escape when there are stormtroopers everywhere?" asked C3Fire0. "No idea," replied Blackfoot. "What!" yowled Squirrelflight in surprise, "I'm surprised we got this far." Callrisian replied. "As long as no one finds us, we're okay and safe."

They turned a corridor to end up face to face with stormtroopers. "Shoot them!" one yelled. "How do we turn our guns on?" asked another. "Go to the select menu and press the 'A' button." "Once again, cats and technology don't mix." "Run while they learn how to work their guns!" cried C3Fire0. They made a break for it.

Part 9: A Duel!!! Dun, Dun, Dun!

Bramble Skywalker landed in the floating city. "Gray2, you find the others. I'm gonna rescue them!" "That makes no sense," replied Gray2-D2. "I don't write the script," Bramble told him. "Just say what's supposed to be said and we'll get paid our hourly five and half mice and hour." "Sure, if it'll feed ThunderClan."

Bramble walked up to a forbidding door. "Do I go in?" he asked himself. "It probably has food." Bramble walked into the forbidding room and the door closed. "Crap, now how do I get out?" He searched for an exit and there was none. "I really wish someone was here to help me and make this go a lot easier."

"Oh, little boy!" a voice said. "I'm not a little boy!" yelled Bramble at the voice. "For StarClan sakes, I'm twenty!" "Wait, you were living with your aunt and uncle at twenty?" "Well, atleast I had some family!" "I do have some family!" "Who are you?" "I am Hawk-Vader!"

Lights lit up and showed Hawk-Vader standing right behind him. "Oh good god, are you a stalker!" yowled Bramble. "Fight me!" commanded Vader. One of his claws began to glow red and extend to half a foot. "Sure," replied Bramble. The same thing happened to one of his claws, except it was blue. "Let's fight right now!"

They slashed and clashed. All sorts of sound whizzed and banged into the air. Then, Hawk-Vader fell into a deep pit. "Who's the cat who sucks now!" yelled Bramble. Then a small breeze pushed him into the pit too! "Crap....." he yowled as he fell into the pit. "I was so close....."

He hit the floor.

"Join me!" Hawk-Vader yowled. "Never," cried Bramble. His hand was cut off after that. "Ouch! Good god, that's against the rules, you cheated you idiot. You cheated!" Hawk-Vader ignored his testimonials, fully aware he cheated. Bramble backed slowly onto a pole. "I... Spoiler alert!" warned Vader. "I am your father." "Okay... That was awkward; very, very awkward." Bramble said.

Suddenly, Skywalker slipped and fell into a shaft like tube which led to a small little place. Then, a vent flew open and he fell onto a small pole. He was struggling to hold onto it. "Of all the lousy times to not have thumbs!" he yelled. "Someone help me. Good god, I need help! Help me!"

He looked down. All he saw was clouds. "What kind of planet is this?!?" he screeched. "Isn't there a ground for god sakes!?! Help me, damn it, help!" He looked down again, and then yelled louder. "Help me!"

Part 10: A New Hand!

Shortly after that, he was rescued and taken into a hospital where he was given a robotic one so he wouldn't be replaced by Spongebob. That night, Spongebob committed suicide because he didn't get the part.

Dustbacca and Callrisian got into the Clanship so they could rescue Storm Solo. "Hey!" Dustbacca yowled. "If you're a ShadowClan cat, why are you on the good side in this?" "You ran out of lines a long time ago!" yelled Blackfoot. "You have no right to speak anymore!"

In the magic floating hospital; Bramble, the Princess, C3Fire0, and Gray2-D2 all lined up by the window to wave goodbye to the Millennium Clanship. "Do you think they'll save Solo?" asked Gray2-D2. "Nah," replied C3Fire0. "We wait three year then we have to do it ourselves."

Credits:

Cast:  
(Actor – Character)  
Firestar – C3P0

Graystripe – R2-D2

Brambleclaw – Luke Skywalker

Stormfur – Han Solo

Dustpelt – Chewbacca

Squirrelflight – Princess Leia

Lionheart – Obi-wan Kenobi

Hawkfrost – Darth-Vader

Crowfeather – Yoda

Blackfoot – Lando Callrisian

Darkstripe – Jango Fett

Storm troopers and Rebels and Random People – Kittypets, Rouges, and Clan cats

Sandstorm - Worm

Director – Snowwhistle

Writer – Snowwhistle

Concept – Snowwhistle

Special thanks to everyone who reads this and Warriors Cats'

Copyright: February, 2010

Trailer: In April of 2010! A new threat will rise. The Death Hairball is back! And this time, it has a shield! Dun, Dun, Dun! Now it's up to Bramble Skywalker and his friends to free the universe once and for all. will never be the same again! Sneak Peak: - "If you're supposed to be my dad, how come you never set a good example?" asked Bramble. "You should be glad you have dad." Hawk-Vader told him. "A lot of dads abandon their kids, you know!" Bramble's face went blank. "Sort of like how you abandoned me?" "God, damn it, I didn't know you existed for twenty years!" – Coming in April to Warriors/ Star Wars crossover section!


	3. Star Warriors VI

**This one in my opinion is the best, or is it? P.S. REVIEW!!! I NEED REVIEWS! REALLY, REALLY badly! I've had this up for so long and still no reviews. It makes me wanna... AHHH!!!! –Technical Difficulties- Sorry, I just lost my temper there for a second. Review and enjoy...**

Star Warriors VI

When the Jedi don't Really Return

So, a monkey is riding a rocket into... What, Wrong entry? Okay, I'll redo it. Bramble had just lost his friend and now he's sad. A new Death Hairball is being built and somehow it only took three years when the first one took twenty years!!! Even crazier, the second Death Hairball is even more powerful than the first one, I mean, what the hell!!! So, Bramble is now gonna rescue Storm Solo who for like three years has been in the clutches of Sandstorm the Hutt. Some friend, he abandons Solo for a good three years. Well, our last chapter begins... Or does it? Yah... It does, I think, okay, start the episode.

Part 1: Fix the Damn Machine! Sandstorm the Hutt

A ship began to fly into the area of the Death Hairball. "Can we please board?" asked a cat through the phone. "Yah sure, I got money for the toll." "What's that?" "Four-thousand dollars," "Fine anything thing to get off this ship. Hawk-Vader is on it right now." "I know, he's annoying," BEEP............ "He hung up on me!"

The ship flew into hanger bay 17, dash 9.345, section a, part 5... Are we really doing this? The whole limitless hanger joke, we used it twice already. I ain't using it again. So, let's just say it landed and bunch of Stormtrooper cats came walking to it and the admiral bowed before like the ship was some sort of StarClan. I mean what the hell?

So Hawk-Vader walked out and looked around. "I give you three billion dollars and this is what you create!" All around were trees and flowers and ferns. "Well sir," replied the admiral. "We have three reasons for those. One, we ran out of Warriors references; two, it makes us feel at home, this movie takes forever to film; and three, it's producing oxygen with out pesky air tanks. We're going green."

"How about the weapons systems, does that work, or do I need to string you from your ears?" Hawk-Vader asked. "Well..." said the admiral. "We'll have it done by, lunch munchin' time..." Hawk-Vader put his hand to his forehead. "That's now even a time. Have it done a week."

Meanwhile...

Back on a casting studio in Tatooine, Spongebob stepped on stage for an audition. "I'm Spongebob, I going for the part of Han Solo." He coughed and then spoke again. "'I'm a Han Solo aye. I'm a Canadian aye.'" Bramble shook his head. "First, Han would never say that. Two, you suck, goodbye." Spongebob ran away crying. "This isn't working, you know, let's just get Storm back."

A couple weeks later Gray2-D2 and C3Fire0 came rolling down the hot sands of the desert. "I'm scared." C3Fire0 admitted. "If I'm captured like Blackfoot and Dustbacca, I'll never live it down." C3Fire0 began to cry a little. "Why did I bring you again?" Gray2-D2 asked solemnly. "I mean, you burst out in tears through the first sign of danger." "It's in the script."

They walked up to the ancient sand walls. "How do we get." Gray2-D2 asked. "The magic word," replied C3Fire0. "Open-sesame," The wall began to open up slowly. "I cannot believe that worked." Gray2-D2 said. "I mean, it just opened! I think it's a trap. Let's enter the trap."

They began to walk down the halls 'till they reached the place where Sandstorm the Hutt was. "HBDNNMCNM CNH GFCMKGJFBH G!" "What," the two cat-droids said in unison. "Let me explain!" said a voice. A familiar face appeared in front of them. "I'm Ash-snake. His translator!" "Couldn't have picked a better guy to play the snake person." Gray2-D2 said. "Sandstorm said," said Ash-snake. "That you guys are now his servants. The gold droid is his talker and the gray one can serve drinks."

"S*it!" the two robots shouted.

Part 2: Bounty Hunter Squirrelflight

After two days of being in Sandstorm the Hutt's palace, a strange bounty hunter came to barter with Sandstorm. She was short, feminine, and her voice sounded a lot like Squirrelflight, except she wore a hockey mask. She spoke. "Soy aquí hasta permuta para Este peludo cosa,(I am here to barter for this furry thing)" She held Dustbacca in her hand. C3Fire0 came out to help translate for Sandstorm. "I thought you were already captured by Sandstorm!" yelled the gold droid.

"Small world," replied Dustbacca. "YO pedido cinco - mil para Este ser, no menos! (I request five-thousand for this creature, No less!)" The feminine bounty hunter replied. "She said five-thousand, no less." C3Fire0 told Sandstorm. "HG VBUCM C M MNCW!" yelled the Hutt worm. "Sandstorm asks why she must pay that," replied the droid the bounty hunter who we obviously know is –Censored Name-.

"Porque YO recogido un bomba! (Because I got a bomb!)" The bounty hunter yelled. She held out a bomb with the button to activate it inches from her finger. Sandstorm laughed. "BNKNOHHK JMUU INUH!" "Uh... he offers three-thousand." C3Fire0 told the bounty hunter. "Multa, Tomaré Ella perra. (Fine, I'll take it bitch.)" The bounty hunter replied coming to a settlement.

"You sold me out!" yelled Dustbacca as he was carried away! "Sorry," replied C3Fire0. "I got me a sweet gig here, translating the crap that Hutt says." Later that night when everyone was in bed, a figure approached the statue Storm was frozen in.

The figure walked over to it and took out a chisel. It hit the statue with a chisel and a cat like Solo fell into the figures arms. It was the bounty hunter. "Where am I?" asked Storm. "You are in my arms," said the bounty hunter. She took off her mask, it was the Princess! Yah, big surprise. They then kissed. "Sorry I didn't save you sooner," she told him. "I was working on a Spanish version of saw, so I had to be late to come to stop the Spongebob audition."

"NGIN IONHOL HHNHVMJ HIGHJD JDHSOOJFGC!" yelled a voice. Then C3Fire0's voice was heard. "He says, 'Well; now you'll all be replaced by Spongebob characters!'" A curtain opened to show they were all wide awake. "NVHCF NMHNHNJD!" They took away Storm to a dungeon and Squirrelflight to Sandstorm. "BBFCBDNHNSM!" "He said," began C3Fire0. "'If we weren't the same gender, you'd be mine!"

Are they all doomed!

Are they saved!

Will I stop asking questions!

Find out in the Third Part!

To Be Continued...

Right Now!

Yah, I did that for nothing but lengthen this! Oh yah...

Part 3: The... Rescue... It probably failed

A cloaked figure opened the door with the powers of the freshkill. When two of Sandstorm's servant pigs tried to stop him, he ate them. He walked down to Ash-snake who could care less about this guy being here. Bramble walked up to the Hutt creature. Sandstorm looked at him. "HGDCHJD DCJJD DJNXSNBCF HNCF CH," C3Fire0 gained a blank expression on his face, "I'm not translating that."

Sandstorm laughed and pressed a button. All of the sudden a gun flew into Bramble's hand. "NMHJNF DHNXD," yelled Sandstorm. "She said, 'Damn, hit a wrong button.'" The she pressed another button and Bramble fell through the floor along with a pig servant. "Damn!" yelled a gangster cat. "He was gonna be my lunch! Oh well, I'll eat that other pig." A pig guard started screaming.

Meanwhile... Down in the pit, Bramble sighed. "How could this get any worse?" A mysterious door began to open. "Yayz, I love mysterious doors!" He shouted. Behind the door was a giant dogzilla! "Crap." He mumbled, and then ran in circles. "AH, why couldn't it have been Blackfoot?" Then, a guard for Sandstorm spoke. "Why do I want to hurt Bramble now?" he wondered.

Then dogzilla roared. "I know," said Bramble. "I'll shoot it! Wait, I don't have a gun. I'll chop him into bit with my Jedi claw... crap; that was trimmed and hasn't grown back yet. I know I'll hunt him like a real warrior cat! Wait, not in the script. Wow, I really didn't prepare for this; did I?" Bramble then got into a jazz like thinking pose. "Whelp, I'm outta ideas."

Then dogzilla came closer. "Damn! How do I stop a forty foot tall dog whose yellow!" He then looked over and saw a 'kill the dog' button. "Could they have made it more obvious?" Bramble asked himself. He then pressed it and a gate fell on top of the dogzilla. It roared then died in the sorrowful pit.

In memory of ~ Dogzilla: 1979 – 2010 R.I.P.

Sandstorm then yelled again. "NMV CNNDHN VBND FHJDNNS NFMJSLKDRG FNDN," C3Fire0 ignored it. "You say the most inappropriate things. I'm done translating for you! You suck!" Sandstorm eyed him then gave orders to her pig minions which no one understood. The pig minions left then came back with Bramble, Storm and, Dustbacca handcuffed.

They were sentenced to death than taken away. "You all suck! I'm suing you! I hope you die in the fiery pits of Mustafar!" Dustbacca yowled as he was carried away. "Why aren't you sentencing me to death?" asked Squirrelflight. The worm women eyed her in a strange way. "Wait!" yelled the princess. "Kill me too! Don't leave me with this lesbian!"

Sandstorm carted Squirrelflight of to the ship where they'd safely watch the execution without the tedious ways of stepping into the hot and blistering sands. Yah, people in the Star Warriors universe are lazy. Those crazy cats; But, hey so are humans. We invented technology and science fiction.

Part 4: Who gets executed?

A weird sand ship thing that held like fifty people was gliding through the desert and a smaller ship stood near it carrying Storm, Dustbacca, and Bramble to their doom. "Why are we even doing this chapter?" asked Dustbacca. "I mean, everyone watched the movie and knows what happens, plus; we're main characters. We can't die!" Bramble and Storm paid no attention the furry and screaming cat thing...

As they enter nearer the pit, a great worm started howling and begging for people to come to it. "Holy s*it!" yelled Storm. "How the hell did the worm get so big?" "The same way cats get big," replied Bramble. "Tuna," "That doesn't make any damn sense!" "We're running out warriors' references okay!" A cat came over and tried to force Skywalker into the pit.

Bramble signaled Gray2-D2 and he shot a claw-saber into the air. Bramble jumped but grabbed a ledge and caught the claw-saber. He attached it to his paw and started to cut people up. Blackfoot appeared out of nowhere and yelled, "Can I help?" He was almost pushed into the pit. Storm accidentally made Darka Fett fall into the pit.

It was an all out massacre and people were screaming things like, "Oh god, another Warriors Book 6, Arc 1!" and "It's an early 2012!" and "Oh noez!" Yah, noez is a word. By the way, 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary.

Squirrelflight was pissed of being Sandstorm's slave so she threw a chain around her neck and began to strangle her. Sandstorm gagged and sputtered but it was in vain because Sandstorm died. Sandstorm the Hutt, 1978 – 2012... After the mourning ceremony and vigil, everyone went back to fight and Squirrelflight searched for a way to snap the chain that bound her.

Thankfully Gray2-D2 was their and cut it off. C3Fire0, woos droid, was rescued by Gray2-D2 from a guy whom was less than a foot tall. Squirrelflight then ran up to the deck where she told the droids. "We're safe." She was the almost shot; she was narrowly missed as the laser sliced a bit of her hair. "What the hell!" The Princess yelled with rage. "Why'd you do that, huh, huh, why? Why?"

Another laser blast knocked her bikini top off. The soldiers of Sandstorm stopped firing at Bramble to stare at her. She put it back on and almost immediately the battle restarted. Bramble took a giant gun and pointed it at the deck. He fired it at the ship caught fire.

Bramble took Squirrelflight and the Droids and swung to safety on one of the smaller ships that Storm, Dustbacca, and Blackfoot stole. They started up the engine and sped away as fast as they could. Behind them the giant ship which belonged to Sandstorm blew up into flames. Along with everyone on it, it was a giant...

_**MASS SUICIDE!!!**_

Okay, so it wasn't suicide, but it was pretty close to it. They didn't even make an attempt to escape so I'm going with that it was a...

_**MASS SUICIDE!!!**_

Anyways, they flew to the studio where Spongebob had auditioned and took their ships and flew off the barren rock that was Tatooine. I hope Sandstorm was happy now that she got a large part in a movie. She better be happy! Okay, she probably wasn't; onto the next part.

Part 5: A Funeral

Bramble flew down to everyone's favorite swamp planet, Degobah; the murky place where the mysterious Crowda lives. Well, not mysterious. But the only person who knows where this freaking guy lives is Bramble. Can you be more isolated? But enough of that, on with the story; so Bramble landed his ship on the swampy place where Crowda lived.

He ran into the house where Crowda resided. He was walking around and blowing at candles as if it was his birthday and he was turning everything off like he was going to die. **(Notice: Spoiler Alert!) **Bramble rudely walked in and Crowda stared at him for a moment; then went back to turning everything in his house off. "Why are you turning everything off?" asked Bramble.

"I am old, aren't I?" said Crowda. "Well..." said Bramble. "You're older than Crowfeather in the warriors' series." HAHAHAHA! "Oh god," said Bramble. "The unnecessary sitcom laugher that interrupts the show, or movie, or book, or whatever is being written or viewed." HAHAHAHA!!! "Shut up!" Then there was an awkward silence. "Good, now Crowda, why are you turning everything off?"

"I'm dying," said Crowda. "I went to my doctor. I have cancer." "Well," said Bramble. "Before you die, is Hawk-Vader my father?" he asked. "You kidding?" said Crowda. "You honestly didn't figure that out?" he said. "I'm a cat," replied Bramble. "They don't do much." "True." Crowda then let out a moan, and then blew up. Bramble to the ashes and put it in a jar and poured the ashes into a swamp.

"I'm gonna miss him," Gray2-D2 said. "He made a mean ass, picnic." Bramble then went sad. "Now how do I beat the dark Emperor without any training?" asked Bramble to himself. Lion-wan then appeared before him as a ghost. "Why fear," said Lion-wan. "With your kind of power, you are an unstoppable force."

Bramble turned away. "You can't escape your destiny like Erin Hunter can't escape writing our books." Bramble then turned him. Lion-wan continued. "You do know that Princess Squirrelflight Organa is your sister." Bramble's jaw dropped. "That makes no sense!" He shouted. "Probably not," said Lion-wan. "But, you must do what you must do." Bramble thought on this for a moment then realized what it meant. It meant, go kick the Emperor's ass!

Gray2-D2 walked up to Lion-wan as they were about to leave. "Did you end up in Heaven, or the other place which I won't say; because it's a bad word?" Lion-wan looked at him and whispered. "I don't think you want to know." "Gotcha, I understand perfectly."

Bramble and Gray2-D2 left. "I wonder if he bothered to listen." Lion-wan said to himself. "He's our last hope... Well, I guess Spongebob could help us, but who the hell wants Spongebob's help?" As Bramble's ship left the planets atmosphere, darkness reined the swamp; once again.

Part 6: Our Damn Bad Plan

Every cat on a ship was talking. "We need a plan." "What will we do?" "Why are we asking this crap?" Then a shecat who no one knew (, and I'm not parodying her,) stepped into the room. "I have news. We know how to defeat the Emperor." The cats then eyeballed each other. "A strike team will go on Endor and deactivate the shield generator then some pilots will fly into the Death Hairball II and blow up the Death Hairball II from the center..."

"I have a question." Storm said raising his hand. "Who the hell would be dumb enough to fly down a stormtrooper cat infested moon?" he said. "That's simple," said the unknown cat. "You, you're perfectly stupid enough to do that." "That's right!" yelled Storm. "Where do you come up with this stuff?" "From the person who writes this damn parody which almost had relation to warriors besides a few behavioral changes and how all the damn characters are cats!"

The cats were quiet for a moment. After a long pause they spoke again. "Wait a second!" yelled Storm. "I still need to draft people. Okay let's see, I want Gray2-D2 and C3Fire0." "But we're droids." C3Fire0 said. "Yah," commented Gray2-D2. "We'll probably be turned to scrap before we even reach the planet; and plus, since we're droids we can't fight." Storm ignored that comment and went back to picking people to draft.

Storm turned to Princess Squirrelflight. "So," he said to her. "How do you feel about being drafted?" he asked. Gray2-D2 and C3Fire0's faces dropped with disbelief. "What!" C3Fire0 yelled. "She gets a choice? Why does she get a choice?" Storm ignored that comment again and looked around the. "Hey, where's that cat Bramble. I kinda want him on my team."

"I'm here!" Bramble said as he walked into the room. "What did I miss?" "You got drafted," replied the Princess. "By the way, Storm said the droids are also drafted." Storm then looked at ten or twenty other cats. "Okay, you know what; I'll take all of you." "Yah! Woo-hoo!" they all shouted with glee. That pissed Storm Solo off so he turned away from them and walked toward the loading dock to pick a ship, for the cheap price of twenty-seven mice. (Yah; couldn't think of another way to parody warriors. Sorry about that."

Then Storm saw a sight which made him whine. "Blackfoot!" he yelled. "What are you doing in Millennium Clanship?!?" he howled. "Hey, finders keepers," said Blackfoot in an arrogant tone. "But I wanted it!" yelled Storm. "I said," replied Blackfoot. "Finders keepers, damn it; it's mine!" Storm grunted and turned away. So he picked a ship that would match a ShadowClan attack ship.

He and his team soared off through space until they reached the Death Hairball II and it was a sight to behold. It was a quarter and half of an inch think and plus it had spray paint on the side that said this. 'We ain't no bull crap place; yo!' No one exactly got it, but it looked cool so they went along with it.

When they got up close, they pulled into a drive through station. "'Hello, welcome to the Death Hairball II, what'd yah like to order?'" said a voice. "I'd like a trip down to the forest moon of Endor, please." Bramble told the voice sign. "And a cup herbs to keep our strength up; that'd be nice, please; I'd like that." "'Okay that'll be seven mice and a sparrow at the check out counter.'" They got the stuff and zoomed away to Endor.

Meanwhile, a Star-Destroyer ship passed by through them window. "I have a feeling that Hawk-Vader is on that ship," said Bramble. "And, how does that matter?" said Storm. "Yah, Hawk-Vader will show up anyways. It's a natural part of the saga, it doesn't matter." So Bramble ignored the feeling and they then landed on the forest moon of Endor.

Part 7: Vroom!!!

The ship landed somewhere in the forest built to the top with trees. The space car jammed with twenty or so cats climbed out. "It's so beautiful here," said Gray2-D2. "Well, don't get used to it." C3Fire0 replied in an unpleased tone. "In two-hundred years the atmosphere will be ruined, barely any of this will be left, and people will die in their seventies. Just like Earth. Erin Hunter even used an example of deforestation in the Great Journey arc."

Ignoring C3Fire0's very true comment, they continued through the forest until they saw two stormtrooper cats with highly pollutant speed bikes. "I was wrong," said C3Fire0. "It's already begun." "Shush!" whispered Bramble. "Someone is going to have to knock them out. Storm, you're crazy enough to do it. Knock the first one out. Then take his gun and shoot the other one."

Storm had already leapt out of the bushes and was punching both of the cats senseless. Then, two more stormtrooper cats hopped onto the speed bikes and rode off. Bramble and Squirrelflight got onto another one. "Storm, keep beating him up," Squirrelflight commanded. "The rest of you, do whatever the hell you want." Then the two sped off after them.

Bramble and Squirrelflight had begun to gain on the two of them. Once, they were side by side one of them. During that time, Bramble punched the guy off his speed bike and hopped on another one. Now they were trying to get the last guy when two of them began to follow them from behind. "You take the front guy," said Bramble. "I got these two." He put his ship in reverse and back up behind the other two cat stormtroopers and began to shoot at them.

He'd managed to take one out, but the other was more maneuverable. He ended up knocking Bramble off of his speed bike. The trooper shot at Bramble, but thanks to his handy claw-saber; he retarded the shots at him, back to other guy and killed him. "Hmm..." thought Bramble. "Should I go forward and help Squirrelflight, the princess and my sister, or go back and enjoy the tuna that Storm bought?" He thought for a few more seconds then turned around. "She can handle herself, I'm hungry."

Meanwhile...

Princess Squirrelflight was having a very difficult time killing this guy. He was either really great at dodging or she was just a bad shot. In my opinion it was a sole combination of both. Honestly, she probably should've shot him down hours ago. Then, she accidentally put herself on a course to crash into a tree. She jumped off just in time.

Believing she was dead, the stormtrooper cat took his eyes off the road for a split second. During that split second, boom; he crashed his speed bike into a tree and died. Squirrelflight then went unconscious. Oh no! What will happen? Squirrelflight is out of it? What will become of her? Find out by reading the next part which was right below this last part.

Part 8: Sacrifice to the God

Princess Squirrelflight began to wake up, and she saw a furry mouse standing over her. "Hmm..." thought the Princess out loud. "He does look tasty; but I have my own food to satisfy me." She ripped open a fish loaf bar and was about to eat it when she looked into the mouse's pleading eyes. "Fine..." she said. "Take it; I'll probably eat you later anyways." The mouse then pointed up. "A luxury spa," Squirrelflight replied to the mouse. "I'm in!" The two walked toward a ladder.

Five miles away, Bramble had just re-arrived at the spot where everyone was waiting. "Where's Squirrelflight?" asked Storm. "Oh, she..." Bramble paused. "She um... Yah, I'm pretty sure she's dead." "Oh, that's sad..." Storm then mood swung into a whole different comment. "Oh well; if she's dead, she's dead. Let's go guys." As they walked through the forest, they saw a tenderloin hanging by some twine. "Oh god, it's mine!" yelled Dustbacca as he bit the meat.

As he did that though, a complicated snare caught Bramble, Storm, Dustbacca, C3Fire0, and Gray2-D2 in a trap. The rest of troop said, "Um... yah... Well, see yah later. Meet you at the big tree if you survive." The rest of the troop walked off. "You all suck!" yelled Gray2-D2 to them. Then a bunch of mice cut them down and handcuffed everyone but C3Fire0. They then began squeaking around him in praise. "Oh my god!" said C3Fire0. "I'm like their god!"

"Yah, sure..." replied Gray2-D2 who was now tied to a slab of wood. "And I'm Hades; the cruel ruler of the Greek underworld, the twisted version of Hell." The mice carried out the sacrifices on slabs of wood and C3Fire0 was carried away on a sacred chair of glory! Hooray! They got to a ladder and hoisted them all up to the mice's secret tree sanctuary.

C3Fire0 was presented with seeing his 'friends' tied onto pieces bark over what looked like a fire pit. "What are they doing?" asked Bramble. "Well apparently," began C3Fire0. "Solo is the main course; Bramble, you're the appetizer; Dustbacca is a side; and they plan to use Gray2-D2 as a fire starter." Then, to everyone's surprise, Squirrelflight walked out onto the eating alter.

"Princess?" said Gray2-D2 in surprise that was being poured on with gasoline. She had knifes and forks with her. "I know it seems like cannibalism," she said. "But hey, why waste a valued meal." She said as she began to pour salt and gravy and Storm. "Well then, we're damn dead." Solo said. Then Bramble yelled, "I have a claw-saber and I'll kill you all if you kill us!"

The mice immediately released them and worshiped them all. Later that night, C3Fire0 told them stories of their great journeys to the mice. "So, it started when Gray2 and I were shot to the planet." "Our new master was Bramble." "Bramble saved the Princess." "Bramble blew up the first Death Star." "We lost the battle on Hoth." "Storm was frozen in rock." "Bramble lost to Vader." "We saved Storm." "Here we are now!" That about sums up all of what C3Fire0 said.

Bramble waited out on the porch of whatever it was. "You okay," asked Squirrelflight. "I have a tough choice," replied Bramble. "My destiny is to kill my dad, but I don't want to and now I'm burdened with the fact that now I know you're my sister and I have to leave, but I'd be abandoning you guys." "Jeez," replied the Princess. "All I asked is, 'You okay." Bramble then said, "I won't be long," then left.

Storm then walked on the deck. "Wanna make out on the sacrifice alter?" asked Storm. "Sure," replied Squirrelflight. "By the way," she added. "Bramble Skywalker is my brother." "Yah, that's greats." Storm commented. "Now come on!" They began kissing and started to walk to the sacrifice alter.

Part 9: Hi Dad

Bramble had himself captured and was gladly taken to the Death Hairball where he met with Hawk-Vader and the Emperor Tigerstar. **"**If you're supposed to be my dad, how come you never set a good example?" asked Bramble. "You should be glad you have dad." Hawk-Vader told him. "A lot of dads abandon their kids, you know!" Bramble's face went blank. "Sort of like how you abandoned me?" "God, damn it, I didn't know you existed for twenty years!"

"Calm down you two!" ordered the Emperor. "Now, I order you both to duel!" They both ignited their claws and slashed at each other with rage. Bramble did uppercuts and epée stabs, but his dad had been practicing. He did sky uppercuts and brutal epée stabs which came very close to injuring Bramble. Bramble then tired himself and needed to hide so he stowed himself in a cabinet to keep himself hidden for a few minutes to rest his body.

Then he jumped out and surprise attacked his father and then with all his might, kicked his father down the stairs. Then he jumped down and cut off his dad's mechanical paw. He then stepped back away from Hawk-Vader and faced Tigerstar, the Emperor. "I do not fear you!" Bramble called. "I am a Jedi. You and Hawk-Vader can not persuade me to join..."

Bramble was cut off as Tigerstar shot lighting from his paw and out to Bramble. "You made a hell of a speech," said the Emperor. "But now you fall, son of the evil Hawk-Vader." The lightning made Bramble scream. Hawk-Vader looked at his son, then his master. While he looked back and forth, jeopardy music played signaling he was thinking.

He then grabbed the Emperor and threw him into the core reactor of the Death Hairball. Knowing this would blow up the system, Bramble tried to escort Hawk-Vader to a ship, but Hawk-Vader couldn't find the energy to do it. "Take off my mask son," said Hawk-Vader. "No." replied Bramble. "I'm not gay. You know what, I'm leaving you here." He left Hawk-Vader and boarded a ship to leave.

Part 10: Two Battles and One Party

The next day, the mice and whoever was left attacked the barracks which held up the shield which protected the Death Hairball from attackers. The mice blew horns and they charged with all their might at the barracks. They shot and murdered the people inside while on the outside Storm, Squirrelflight, and Dustbacca were winning another fight.

Dustbacca had taken over a patrol vehicle and shot down all of the stormtrooper ShadowClan cats. In the end, they won and the shield was discharged. "So guy," said Dustbacca. "Gurgle! Do you guys want to throw a party because it's pretty obvious that we win?" "Sure," replied Storm as they began to set up decorations.

In space, the main reactor had already been damaged so it was going to blow up whether they did anything or not. So they just sat back and enjoyed the explosion while wearing 3D glasses. "That most certainly is pretty," said Blackfoot Callrisian from the comfort of his own ship. The war had ended. The Empire was defeated.

3 Hours Later...

Everyone was jamming and having a good time. There were drinks and snacks and music. For a planet that looked like pre-historic Earth, it had pretty cool decorations. Bramble then gazed at what he thought he saw were the ghosts of Hawk Skywalker, Lion-wan Kenobi, and Crowda. He shrugged it off and went back to partying. Surprisingly, no other wars started. I guess ShadowClan is heart of the world's problems. But they're gone now; so...

-The End-

Credits:

Cast:  
(Actor – Character)

Firestar – C3P0

Graystripe – R2-D2

Brambleclaw – Luke Skywalker

Stormfur – Han Solo

Dustpelt – Chewbacca

Squirrelflight – Princess Leia

Lionheart – Obi-wan Kenobi

Hawkfrost – Darth-Vader

Crowfeather – Yoda

Blackfoot – Lando Callrisian

Darkstripe – Jango Fett

Tigerstar – The Emperor

Sandstorm - Jabba the Hutt

Storm troopers and Rebels and Random People – Kittypets, Rouges, Mice, and Clan cats

Director – Snowwhistle

Writer – Snowwhistle

Concept – Snowwhistle

Special thanks to everyone who reads this and Warriors Cats'

Copyright – April 2010


End file.
